that time of year again

...when the rumour mill is in its full and heavy rotation. Allow me to share with you some of the good (and troubling) bits:

It looks like West Ham is losing Reo-Coker (no surprise) to Aston Villa. Harewood is being given the not-unexpected heave but no word on where he'll land, poor fellow. Meanwhile, Curbishley has signed Newcastle's Scott Parker and is nosing around Andy Johnson, Darren Bent, Tim Cahill and Shaun Wright-Phillips.

Rafa Benitez has made it clear that he's keen to spend a lot of American money to buff up his ailing Liverpudlians. Earlier this week his attentions seemed intensely focused on Barca's restless Samuel Eto'o, but AC Milan has since made a semi-formal declaration of courtship in that direction, and who could resist making a pact with that particular smooth-talking devil? (Put it this way: here's a lot of money to live in a dismal English port-town and help revive a very good but struggling side. Or, for an unimaginably huge amount of money, you could live in a sunny, pleasant, cosmopolitan part of Italy and play among the best of the best in stunningly handsome white away kits. What'll it be, Sam?)

Now Rafa has turned his gaze toward his second choice (hah! Take that, Mr. I-Am-Not-A-Woman), Thierry Henry. I suspect Rafa is a bit like the pimply and desperate kid at the prom who's determined to make out with a cheerleader--doesn't matter which one--by the end of the night, and prospects are pretty grim. According to little Cesc Fabregas, Henry is being wooed once more by the silver-tongued and dashing Barca itself. Having once taken no for an answer from the coy Frenchman, I doubt the Catalans will let him slip through their roguishly charming net a second time.

To cap off the Reds' bad luck, rightback Dani Alves of Sevilla and "Les Gones" midfielder Florent Malouda seem to have been scooped up by Chelsea while Rafa was off chasing glamor-strikers.

In other news, Roberto Carlos is headed away from Real Madrid to the Turkish club Fenerbahce, and curmudgeonly Spanish manager Luis Aragones has announced his retirement once Euro 2008 has run its course.