true heroes of the pitch

My two longtime favorite players.  Whether it's at Barca or for Spain... they are true heroes of the pitch.  After their performances in this World Cup, I don't think they'll have to pay for another meal or drink for the rest of their lives.

These goofy photos are FC Barcelona postcards that I purchased in Barcelona in 2008.  I carry them with me at all times.  Is there something wrong with that?  Why are you looking at me so funny?

landon the hero, heart attacks, and keeping it steady

What an exhausting day yesterday was... wake up, warm up the ol' typing machine, get the Twitter ready (that sounds dirty, I realize), and turn the TV on for the first World Cup match of the day.  And as the US v Algeria match stretched on, I suffered through heart attacks, vomiting, and delirium.  Around the 80th minute, I thought about abandoning the match and taking a long walk.  The US was going to lose the game, I thought.  I had to start preparing myself for the grim reality of crushing disappointment.

I'm not the most realistic person, though.  Part of me still believes that crazy shit can happen in a football match.  Twice I thought of Andreas Iniesta's incredible destructo shot in the last minutes of the 2009 Champions League semi-final against Chelsea.  The goal was a miracle from the football gods (I may be an atheist, but when it comes to football... I'm a believer) and sent Barcelona on their way to become champions of Europe.  Sadly, the US national team is not Barcelona.  So when I thought of Iniesta, I also thought what a fool I was to even entertain such masochistic thoughts.

But Landon Donovan obviously felt a calling to turn it on.  Incredible moment.  2/3 of apm screamed, clapped, stomped, sent our cats racing through the room, our neighbors dialing 911... then the tears flowed... and the laughter.  The US is through to the last 16 and will face Ghana on Saturday.  The African team booted us out of the 2006 World Cup in Germany, but this ain't Germany, and we ain't the same squad we were back then either, mate.

Here's the legendary Donovan goal.  Speaks for itself.  I didn't tape this, just so you know.  Some other dude did.  What a professional he was, too.  You can't hear him crying with joy, screaming, or cursing at all.  Pro.

The Algerians have been screwed before in the World Cup, but at least they went out this time fair and square and with their heads held high.  They're a good team.  Not all of their players took the loss well, though.

Also, here's a link featuring a few after the game video interviews with US coach Bob Bradley and hero Landon Donovan.  Pretty damn cool.  If you're a US supporter and their emotion doesn't move you... I don't want to know you.

And on that note... sleep.  More big matches await.

and so it begins...

We here at apm--like most of you, I imagine--couldn't wait for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa to start.  The opening ceremonies got things started with the requisite flourish and... well, you know, the usual artistic choices that accompany these sorts of things: gorgeous dancers, brilliant musicians, conceptual celebrations of team and country, the honorable Archbishop Desmond Tutu getting his groove on, a giant dung beetle kicking at a soccer ball, and R. Kelly.  Something for everyone. 

And then there were the games.  South Africa doesn't have the best squad in the world--although they did perform well at last year's Confederations Cup in South Africa--but they held their own against a Mexican side that should have done... oh... so... much better.  The first half was mostly in El Tri's favor, though the poor finishing by former Barcelona player Gio dos Santos and former West Ham jobber Guillermo Franco was aggravating for the team's supporters.  South Africa simply looked out-classed.  But come the second half things turned around with a fabulous rocket of a goal from South Africa's Siphiwe Tshabalala (we'll all be able to spell his name fast by the end of the tournament, you just wait) in the 55' minute, sending the Mexican players into a tailspin.  Rafa Marquez evened things up in the 79' minute, but El Tri was unable to do anything other than give South Africa more space, options, and ultimately a couple of wonderful chances at winning the match.  But it wasn't meant to be and the soccer gods bestowed upon the teams a fair draw.  Decent, relatively exciting football to be sure.

The next match, between Uruguay and the Republic of Ireland... sorry, France... was a whole other beast.  I don't know much about Uruguay other than that they've won the World Cup twice before--at the first tournament in 1930 and again in 1950--and they feature one of my favorite players, Diego Forlan.  I had high expectations for this one, but other than a few moments of inspiration here and there, it was mostly a game for lovers of defense and clogged-arterial football.  Not my thing.  It was skillful, tactical football on Uruguay's part, and the way they stymied France was something to behold--a squad that failed to show any enthusiasm for playing except for when Thierry Henry made his appearance in the late second half.  But it was dull, frustrating play as well.  A midday sedative of the worst kind for anyone craving a good dose of progressive, creative football.  In the end, it was 0-0.  Uruguay got a point for parking the bus in front of goal and France received one for their public shame.  Now, if only Forlan could create some magic with his finishing... showing the rest of the world who don't watch his brilliance every week in La Liga why he matters.

But it's just the beginning.  The tournament is long and there are always duds like the latter match.  There will be a couple more... and games that remind us why we love this sport in the first place.  I have a feeling the real good stuff is about to get rolling tomorrow.  A dung beetle promised me.

one born every minute

asshole

Main Entry: ass hole
Pronunciation: \'as-,(h)ōl/
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 usually vulgar : Anus
2 a usually vulgar : a stupid, incompetent, or detestable person b usually vulgar : the worst place--used in phrases like asshole of the world

-- Merriam-Webster   

In William S. Burroughs's classic novel Naked Lunch, there is a scene, a routine really, about a man who taught his asshole to talk.  It's brilliantly funny, upsetting, and acidic in that Burroughs way.  Monty Python on smack.  For years I thought the piece was nothing more than fiction.  Yes, the world is full of strange, unbelievable wonders.  But surely this was just Burroughs riffing off of some make-believe routine he used to do for friends.

I was wrong.

A man named Barney Ronay has mastered the trick.  Unbelievable indeed!

And after you read about that incredible piece of human ingenuity, you can read a measured and thoughtful reply.

one door closes...

Looks like Real Madrid have axed Manuel Pellegrini as manager of the team. Madrid performed well last season in La Liga and gave the reigning champs Barcelona trouble throughout the year. But when "The Special One" makes it clear that he would love to manage the team... not to mention stick another shiv in the hearts of Barça and their supporters...you don't deny him. No one puts José Mourinho in a corner! No one!

Racing Santander v. Barcelona

Three goals in seven minutes from three different players. And by the 27th minute of the first half, it wouldn’t have been arrogant to consider the game over. I’m surprised that Racing Santander didn’t just turn out the lights in the stadium during half-time so that their shell-shocked supporters could split to feed their sorrows with plentiful plates of boquerones and mugs of Estrella Galacia. Surrender now before things got even worse and Barcelona really started getting their groove on.

But this is football. Teams, especially good and respectable teams like Racing, don’t give in even when they’re obviously outclassed by the flashier more powerful Barça. Still, it’s got to be rough for their fans. I don’t think anyone would have blamed them if they’d ditched their team and headed for the exits.

But this is football and supporters don’t do that. Ever. Thankfully, Óscar Serrano gave the home fans something to cheer about in the 72nd minute when he slipped the ball through defender Rafa Marquez’s feet and scored one past keeper Victor Valdes who seriously didn’t have much to do before then.

It’s been a good four weeks of La Liga and it’s difficult to imagine but Barça look even stronger than they did last season. I wasn’t sure how Ibrahimovic was going to fit into the squad—he seemed selfish and petulant to me while playing at Inter and for the Swedish national team—but his kinetic repartee with Messi, keen vision, and physical strength up front is excellent and he’s fun to watch. He’s also more dependable than either Eto’o or Henry when it comes to finishing.

I know it’s early still, but I think Barça are realistically on their way toward another brilliant season.

Racing Santander 1, Barcelona 4.

Visça Barça!

Don't have a lot to say right now. My head is still spinning. But damn, Barcelona did it right.

Congratulations to Pep and the team!

More later....

Aftermath

The aftermath of the Chelsea v Barca Champions League semi-final game yesterday has been... well, nasty. I can understand why Chelsea supporter's feel crushed and I won't dig the shank in deeper. But I have to say that Drogba's and Ballack's performances after the game and the supposed "handball" incident with Eto'o respectively, as well as manager Hiddink's comments about some kind of UEFA conspiracy that prevented Chelsea from winning, were ridiculous.

We won. They lost. We didn't play up to our standards but we didn't blow it either. Great teams don't self-destruct and we didn't. We held on, we kept our composure, even after the red card against Abidal, and we pulled off a miracle. Chelsea scored that incredible goal early on, but they were never able to build upon it. It happens. So they dive, dive, dive, and then whine to the ref when the calls did not go their way. Barcelona have been accused countless times of doing the same thing. Drogba should consider himself lucky he didn't get a yellow card for diving. We won. They lost. It's over.

But a conspiracy? Please. The sense of entitlement from Chelsea, but from most of the top Premiership clubs in general, is astounding. It's difficult for me to believe that anyone would want to see another England league match disguised as the Champions League final again, but a conspiracy by UEFA to prevent Chelsea from winning their due European crown? I mean, they're entitled to win it! Suitcases of money had been exchanged beforehand cementing their victory! Roman Abramovich promised that it was a done deal! How come the ref didn't abide by the deal?

See how silly it is? Ah, cheer up Chelsea. You still have Everton to molest and take your frustrations out on.

For a more reasoned approach to yesterday's game, you can read Nic's great reflections over at FCBnews here.

live blogging: Chelsea v. Barcelona, Champions League Semi-Final, Second Leg

Derek: Wow, is right. Thanks to everyone and anyone who stopped by for this. We've never done a livblogging thing before, so it was fun. I think we'll do it again and get better at it. Damn, it was hard! Anyway... cheers to you all.

Lynda: Wow, that was . . . that was grueling. Chelsea played a better game than they did at Camp Nou last week. It's true, I too have seen them snatch a soul-crushing stoppage time victory more than once (and was afraid of them doing it this week).

I'm looking forward to the Messi v. Ronaldo showdown in Rome.

I think I'm in shock. Over and out.

Derek: GAME OVER. With all due respect to my friends who are Chelsea supporters... I feel nothing. I've seen Chelsea kill off teams just like this in the last minute. Brutal, though. No doubt about it. All in all, I don't think Barcelona played up to their usual standards, but this is the craziness football. And no, Eto'o did not touch the ball with his hand. He was obviously turning away from the ball and the ball hit him in the upper arm (I think it was; haven't seen the replay). That's not a handball, sorry. It wasn't intentional.

I have to take a breath. My head is spinning.

Chelsea 1, Barcelona 1; 1-1 aggregate with Barcelona moving on to the final with that mean away goal.

Lynda: Iniesta in stoppage time. I think I just had a heart attack.

Derek: GOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lynda: 85.00 My Bojan Krkcic in for Busquets.

Derek: 80:00 Pique gets plenty of touches and movement on the ball and makes a good shot on goal. Hard to believe that this was the same team who destroyed Real Madrid on Saturday.

Lynda: 76.00 Remember what I said earlier about wanting two goals? One would be good.

Also, when I said I wanted John Terry to cry, by "John Terry" I did not mean "me."

Lynda: 71.20 Former Barca man Belletti in for Drogba.

Lynda: 68.00 The ref, Tom Henning Øvrebø, has done this before.

Derek: 66:00 This is ridiculous. I'm stunned. Red card for Abidal, who made no contact on Anelka. This is wrong, wrong, wrong. And I'm now officially in favor of instant replay.

Lynda: In fairness, I've seen Dani Alvez shot by snipers from the stands in more La Liga games than I can count.

Derek: 61:00 This is horrifying. I've never seen anything like it before. It looks like... the ball... assassinated Drogba. I guess crime really is on the rise in London.

Derek: 56:00 And Drogba dives again! Beautiful. Clean tackle by Toure.

Derek: 48:00 Pep is understandably pissed at Alves. What the hell is Dani thinking by taking that shot?

Lynda: HALF. I may spend the second half lying down in a dark room far from the TV. But in the meantime, yeah, I'm with Derek--I want to see two goals from Barcelona. Chelsea are too good at those stoppage time, dream-crushing goals for me to comfortable with a 1-1 scoreline.

Derek: HALF. Frustrating first half, no doubt about it. Eto'o, Iniesta, and Messi have been absent for large portions of the game. Hopefully Pep will get 'em focused for the second half and we can get two goals. I know all we need is one, but two is insurance against a Chelsea squad who know how to kill off an opponent at the last minute.

Derek: Stoppage. Excellent shot by Xavi... but to no avail.

Derek: 41:00 Looks like Barca is slowing it down a bit more, inching closer to goal, but still they can't connect.

Derek: 32:00 Hate to see my man Puyol seated in the stands.

Lynda: 30.00 Yellow card for Alvez. It's unsurprising, but Dani, chill out. Seriously. And now Lampard's down on his hands and knees with a split lip. Not sure what went down there.

Derek: 29:00 And Messi finally appears....

Lynda: 26.45 Tommy kept bragging about how this was going to be a "physical" game and how La Liga just isn't used to such a "physical" game because La Liga refs don't allow it and now he keeps complaining when Barca gets "physical" and Chelsea doesn't get the call....

Lynda: 22.53 Free kick for Chelsea after Alvez fouls Malouda. And it's a miss. I can't argue with the ref's decision.

This is getting nerve-wracking. Barca need to score.

Derek: 22:27 Great save by Valdez. Close though.

Lynda: 15.00 Yes, rather than watch the game, please treat us to a montage of shots of Essien's goal. There's still a game going on. Anyway, 15 minutes gone and there's my first prediction shot down--the wrong side scored! No more predictions. Come on, Barca.

Derek: 9:30 Nice goal from Essien.

Lynda: 8.50 Goal for Chelsea, Michael Essien. Valdez should've had that. Damn.

Lynda: 7.30 I can't really argue with Tommy's remark that Dani can be "a bit of a cheat and goes to the ground too easily." Heh. That Dani.

Derek: 4:30 Some really nice forward movement from Barca. Didn't see the supposed handball by Messi. I'd like to see Terry cry again too.

Lynda: 3.30 I've got nothing against John Terry, or even Chelsea for that matter, but that doesn't mean I don't want to see Terry cry again this year.

Derek: 2:25 Nice "shot" Lampard. Or was that a pass? Only he knows.

Derek: Looks like Toure is playing in Marquez's position and Pique has shifted over to Puyol's place. Watch out for Busquets... he's the unknown factor for Chelsea.

Derek: And we're on.... Visca Barca!

Lynda: To their credit, all three ESPN pre-game commentators predicted a win for Barca. 1-1 except for Shaka Hislop who thinks it'll be 1-2. I'm scared to make any scoreline predictions.

Derek: Glad that Pep has pulled Toure back into Puyol's normal position too, shifting Pique into Marquez's. Caceres has simply been too unpredictable to start.

Derek: Still pre-game. Did Tommy Smyth just say that all Chelsea had to do was win? What a genius. No wonder I can't stand to listen to these guys.

Derek: So enough of the ESPN half-informed commentators. Let's get this thing going. I hate predicting anything at this point but I agree with Lynda that Barcelona will score within the first 15 minutes. Iniesta is going to be trouble to defend again. I think it's funny that the four commentators on ESPN keep talking about Barca as untested and that they have trouble getting past the semi-finals. Does no one remember that we won just three seasons ago with many of the same players? Stupid.

Lynda: We'll be liveblogging until the end or until our heads explode from the ESPN announcers' slavish adoration of the Premiership and All Things English (question: if a loss for Barca means La Liga is a second-rate league, does a loss for Chelsea mean the same about the EPL?). Looks like Henry's out with that knee injury he sustained this weekend during El Clasico. Guardiola's made some interesting shuffles in the lineup to account for the lack of defenders--he's got Toure in Puyol's position (who's out on accumulated yellow cards). For Hiddink's part, he's added Anelka as a striker alongside Drogba.

Hang on tight. We're just minutes away from the start.

Champions League Semi-Finals Biased Live Blogging

We've never live blogged before, but Wednesday afternoon we'll be hunkered down in front of the telly trying to keep our lunch down while we live blog the Barcelona v Chelsea match.

It will be biased and we'll probably make fools of ourselves trying to keep up with all of the action. But it will be fun.

Drop on by if you're so inclined.

See y'all tomorrow!

Barcelona Pictures

Over at the FC Barcelona official site there are some absolutely fabulous pictures of supporters celebrating in the streets and welcoming back our Blaugrana heroes back to the city. Oh, to be there in person.

Check it out here.

Memo to Amy Lawrence

Memo to Amy Lawrence: guess you didn't see Barcelona's 2-6 man-handling of Real Madrid today. The arrogance and ignorance of the English footie press never fails to amuse me.

a farewell to Oleguer

I know some people find the political stances taken by Barca and/or its players particularly irritating, because, I don't know, it's so much cooler to, you know, act like you don't care about anything* (or, alternately, that anyone who claims they do give a shit about anything past their own nose must surely be lying). But it's one of the things about Barcelona that makes my little commie heart just swell with pride and joy. I've written before about my affection for the principled Oleguer, and I know he's made mistakes and not been Barca's best defender, but I'm still sorry to see him go. But his farewell letter is written with all the class and humility I've come to expect. Goodbye, Oleguer. I'll be checking out Ajax when I'm able, just to get a look at you on the pitch again.

*I can't help hearing Rik from The Young Ones: "I don't care what I do! I don't care if I live or die!"

AC Milan Ready To Purchase Unknown Kid from Barcelona

The writing has been on the wall all season: will Ronaldinho leave Barca at the end of the season? Should he leave? When will he leave? Isn't he gone yet?

It's not official, but supposedly the player's agent/brother Roberto de Assis is blabbing that the carioca/footballer is on to AC Milan.

You can read tidbits here and here. More later when FC Barcelona and AC Milan make official announcements.

mala noche

The little girl, maybe nine years old, at the tapas joint/restaurant/cerveseria yesterday was going to have a good night, like the rest of us gathering for Barca's Copa del Rey match against Valencia. She wore her blue Barca away kit and sat up front next to her dad, or on the lap of her mother, who stopped in briefly. She knew everyone in the restaurant, including the staff, who doted on her, kissing her and supplying her with bottles of Fanta with the straw sticking out the top. When Valencia scored the first of what would be three goals, she tore off the jersey and shouted at her squad. The two old women next to us flung their napkins down in disgust and stormed out. Valencia's second goal, in the final moments of the first half, had the slow-mo, I-can't-believe-this-is-happening quality of a nightmare. Anger and commiseration at watching your team go down like this has a common language of its own and we all cried out and shook our heads at one another. It was too much for the youngest fan present, who leapt up, lip trembling and eyes brimming with tears, and raced into the square outside. Her dad went out to try comforting her and bringing her back, but to no avail. We last saw them trudging up the narrow Barcoleneta street towards home.

I'm normally idiotically optimistic during soccer games but given Barca's performances of late I wasn't holding out a lot of hope for them to come roaring back in the second half. Our goal celebration for Henry was short-lived as Valencia's devastating response came only seconds later. We exchanged wordless sympathies with the old man behind us who got up and began pacing around the bar, unable to sit still for the remainder of the match. Hope surged back with the late Eto'o goal in the 80th minute, and Valencia began to show signs of wear. Yet it was all to no avail, and in the end Barca went down with scarcely a whimper.

Barca's won only a single match--the Champions League leg against Celtic--since we arrived in the city, and that at the expense of Leo Messi for the rest of the season. Now, it seems, they're on track to lose the season along with the Copa del Rey loss, and what will become of them in the Champion's League is anyone's guess. It seemed the night couldn't get any worse, but then Derek reached for his wallet and discovered that Barca wasn't the only thing around getting its pocket picked. Down one Copa del Rey championship, one fifty-euro note, and one debit card: the costliest football loss we've endured. Mala noche, indeed.

Nic's been writing some good stuff lately about the team's struggles of late and here's his match report from this game.

It rained... it poured.... Barca v Villarreal

It was a terrible night for FC Barcelona despite hosting Villarreal at the Camp Nou. What happened? Ah, the proverbial question whenever Barca need the big league win of late. Oh well. We still have the Champions League, right? We'll have a full write-up within the next couple of days... 'cause apm actually attended the match live. It was a big deal for us--our first time ever attending a Barcelona match.

Anyway, here are two video clips. More later!



The Cant del Barca!




Ronaldinho free kick attempt on goal.