Thursday, April 27, 2006

a pall over sunderland

This unprecedented run of ill luck must be addressed, and seems to radiate from the Stadium of Light itself (not a single home win, not all season, not one). In 1997 the Black Cats knocked down Roker Park and opened their new arena with a match against Ajax and HRH Prince Andrew presiding over ceremonies. It was built on the site of the former Monkwearmouth Colliery. If this were a horror film, the course would be apparent. A curse has been dropped down upon the place: the grounds beneath it must be excavated, the body of the disgruntled miner (possibly a wayward Newcastle fan) found and buried with proper respect in sanctified ground.

Or perhaps the maleficence originates in the name itself? "Stadium of Light" has a pretentious sound, and a vaguely funereal one (Benfica can get away with it; many a sin goes pardoned in a romance language). Or is it a case of muddled feng shui? Leys are powerful in Britain, it's well known. If there lies a strong magnetic vortex beneath the old Monkwearmouth Colliery, the sheer intensity of dragon energy may be the catalyst for the current disaster. If that is the case, the Stadium of Light, regrettably, must be razed and another built on more benevolent ground. In the meantime, is there a middle school in the area willing to rent out its pitch?

1 comment:

Lynda said...

It all makes sense! Last year I ran across this piece about sightings of a strange dark figure haunting the training ground.